My Eyes Were Opened In 2005

 I was dealt a pretty serious dis-ease of my own in 2005.  Up until this point, I'd never thought much about what it meant to be healthy.  I was brought up on the typical American diet, which consisted of mostly processed foods, lots of soda and some home cooked meals that revolved around meat every Sunday.  My mother and I had  randomly decided to experiment with vegetarianism when I was 15.  I'd done a research paper on it and it seemed as though there were lots of benefits.  So we both gave it a whirl and it stuck.  Don't get me wrong- it took us awhile to learn how to be "healthy" vegetarians. For the first several years we relied on everything soy and processed fake meats. But we felt healthier and didn't miss regular meat at all.
That's where the "health experiment" ended for me.  I still loved junk food and ate plenty of it (I still struggle with my love for it!) and I was probably the worst kind of vegetarian possible all through college.

I ended up studying abroad in India in 2001 for 3 1/2 months with a group of other students, who many of which were hardcore vegan, Earth worshiping, community loving hippies.  Being around these people for over 3 months straight and learning from them was a huge turning point in my life.  Although I found most of them quite challenging and I certainly wouldn't have sought them out as friends in another arena, they truly played an enormous part of showing me my path.

In 2005 I was diagnosed with my first (what doctor's called) serious health imbalance.  Because I was introduced to Ayruveda in India, aromatherapy, herbs, vitamins & health food by my fellow students on the trip back in 2001- I decided that I would take that leap of faith and try the world of integrative medicine.
 Long story short- I healed myself and I realized what a teacher dis-ease was.  Without having gotten sick, done the work, used the tools- I never would have experienced the power and importance of all the things that are involved with self care, self love, and integrative medicine.  I may have continued into herbalism without having dealt with a disease on my own, but I don't think that the passion I have now for my work would have been quite as strong.

I've been studying herbs, Reiki & integrative medicine going on 10 years now, and I can say with certainty  that almost every little ache and pain, every cough or sneeze, every skin blemish, burp or fart and almost every life threatening or serious illness, is our bodies way of communicating with us.  It's our bodies waving the bright red caution flag, calling out "Hey! I need some help over here!"  The voices may start out small and quiet, usually so much so, that we can live with the discomfort of the symptoms and maybe even accept them as signs of aging. Then our body's signals get louder and louder until sometimes it may reach a point where you can no longer ignore the signs anymore, and you've got a  full blown "situation" to deal with.  Our bodies, do their very best to keep us healthy and strong- but they can't do it alone! Our bodies need our full undivided attention & help!

What a lesson & blessing it can be if you allow dis-ease to teach you  and learn what you can do for yourself to heal.
I'm not just talking about what the wonders of modern medicine can offer us ( which absolutely has it's place and thank goodness we have it...) I'm talking about the healing that comes from whole hearted self care.  Food, water, movement, spiritual/religious practice, playing, whole food vitamins, herbs, essences, aromatherapy, energy work, massage....
When our eyes are opened to see how each of us is so unique & have different needs and that quick fixes and magic bullets are not the long term answer for health & happiness, then we truly become our own best healers.
Taking care of ourselves is a job no doctor, no herbalist, no naturopath or chiropractor can do for us.  Healing & staying healthy and strong is a lifelong path and process you must choose to prioritize for yourself- but if there is a cause that's more worthwhile, I'd like to know what it is.  YOU are your own best healer. xo Amanda



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Finding Your Truth and Doing the Best You Can

Organic vs.non-organic, paraben cosmetics vs. non-paraben cosmetics, sunscreen vs. no sunscreen, drugs vs. herbs vs. vitamins vs. whole foods, BHP-free plastic vs. "safe" aluminum/stainless steel, running vs. walking, breast feeding vs. formula, GMO foods vs. non-GMO foods,  hybrid cars vs. conventional, raw foods vs. cooked foods, Walmart vs. Target, local vs. fair traded, gluten vs.gluten-free, whole herbs vs. standardized herbs, science vs. nature, the heart vs. the head, whole fat vs. low fat,  sugar vs. splenda, republican vs. democrat, till gardening vs. no till gardening, Bikram yoga vs. Iyengar vs. Ashtanga vs. Kundalini , fluoride toothpaste vs. non-fluoride toothpaste, coffee vs. tea, disposable diapers vs. cloth, to vaccinate vs. not to vaccinate, made in the USA vs. made in China, bottled water vs. tap water... and on and on...ISN'T IT EXHAUSTING? Well, it can be, if you let it get to you. There is so much information out there, so many opinions,so many choices, so many versions of what is supposedly "right" and what is "wrong" and it can make living in this world pretty overwhelming sometimes.

If you know me at all, then you know I struggle with surrendering to the beautiful "grayness" of life and trying to find peace within it. You see, sometimes (more than I'd like) my critical brain gets the best of me and I want to know the "black and white" answers to, well, EVERYTHING. What's right?! What's wrong?! This is what my brain often shouts at me throughout the day and I have to gently remind it that there is no, one answer. Well, maybe with math, although I've never been very good at it:).  Even though I know the world is not black and white and it truly is made up of various shades of gray, I still struggle.  I find it even more difficult to come to terms with this, as I continue down my own path of personal growth, healing, as well as being a facilitator for health, in my practice. When I attend herbal seminars, classes and conferences, I am continuing to seek out more of the truth- looking for that absolute truth, so that hopefully, I can begin to understand it and then share that knowledge with others. Yet, as I continue to grow and learn as a practitioner, I become more and more aware that there may not be any absolute truths at all. The more classes and courses I attend the more I realize that I don't agree with everything that is shared during lecture- that perhaps I've even have had an opposite experience than of what was being shared by the teacher. And when I've shared my experiences or disagreements during a class, 9 times out of 10, the teacher replies "Wonderful, thank you for sharing! We all have our own experiences with herbal medicine, I am just sharing with you what I've experienced." So, what do we do? What is the truth? What is right? What are the best choices? How do we even know who to listen to, to trust? There is just so much to keep up with, and the information seems to be forever changing. And really, as a human race, haven't we come to realize that all we really know, is that we know nothing?! Sure, we've uncovered so much with science, discovered things we once thought were impossible and unimaginable. But, even Stephen Hawkins himself admits that some of the ideas he once thought to be an absolute truth, he now believes to be false. Information changes, new discoveries are made, mistakes are uncovered, sometimes information is just plain wrong. And the "black and white" truth, the truth we seek comfort in, turns into an ever changing shade of gray once again.
 "Facts"that come from the media/the news, doctors, scientists, me :), teachers, friends, family, dentists, practitioners of all kinds...what should we make of all them? How do we filter through it all? And how do we keep up with all of the "new information" constantly being thrown our way?  I said it before, and I'll say it again- find your own truth! What makes sense to you? What rings true or false in your heart? Do your own research. Don't take someone's word for it (even mine:)) if doesn't make sense or feel right to you. Even if it's a fancy scientific study- look further, dig deeper. Was it an independent study? Or paid for by some else? Details and further research may paint a better picture for you to find your truth with whatever topic it may be.

In the world of health and especially in the world of herbs, information and experiences are endless, and everyone is so individual- there are always guidelines but, there isn't just one answer for everyone. 
While some people may have a panic attack over this idea of no "real" truth, for others, myself included, it can feel liberating. Liberating because what this really means is that we can follow our own truth.  Not just with health and herbs obviously, but in all aspects of our lives. That being said, our truth can change too. Because really, what in life doesn't? Change is the only constant and to fight it, is just too tiring. So, keep learning, experiencing, digging deep and evolving your truth- it is yours to create, and it's not about anyone else but YOU. Change your truth as much as you like! And really, our truth is not about attempting to place our unique beliefs on others. Perhaps, it's more about  living our truth and leading by example, so that perhaps our truth will inspire others to follow a similar path if it suits them. And truly, if we are following our hearts, our spirits, our inner-selves, if we allow ourselves to be led by our pure intention of seeking bliss, happiness and spreading love, then our truth can be whatever we want it to be and it won't be harming anyone.

So, now that we've found our truth (for the moment:)) how do we make sure we are walking our truth, and doing the "right" thing for ourselves 24/7?
Sigh. Yet another personal battle I have yet to win with myself. Taking another peek at that rambling paragraph at the top of the page, we see many choices that some of us  try to follow on a daily basis.
In my field especially, people are constantly trying to do and teach all of the "right" things for their health, their family's health and the health of their clients and the world around us. And yet they will often hit a wall around every corner of trying to do that "right" thing. It seems to me, that we can only do what we can- and what we can do, is only so much.
We go into a health food store for the first time and buy an organic beverage but it's packaged in BHP plastic. We start buying yogurt to boost our intestinal flora, get home and realize the yogurt is packed with sugars that will actually promote candida and lower our immune system. We start buying "green" dish soap and cleaners to help the environment and then read the back of the label to realize the company is owned by Proctor and Gamble.  We buy seeds to start our own vegetable garden and find out the seed company is actually owned by Monsanto (the mother company of GMO's). After learning the dangers of anti-perspirants, we spend 7 bucks on a deodorant that is "all natural"  and read that propylene glycol (a form of anti-freeze) is a main ingredient. Sigh. It seems like we just can't win, even when we are putting out best intentions out there.
I'm not gonna lie, I personally struggle with this all of the time. But even more so, I struggle with being in a positition to make a decision that I just don't want to make- but sometimes I do anyway.  I'm at the Hannford because Dover Natural closes at 6pm. I really want to make tacos, but the Hannford doesn't sell GMO-free corn shells- but I really want those damn tacos (and believe me if you know how long it takes me to decide on anything, you'd understand)- so I buy the regular brand. I do my best to shop local, so I go to Agway to buy my all natural corn kitty litter but they're all out! So, I have to drive to PETCO.  I know plastic pots aren't the best containers to start organic seeds in because of the leaching possibility, but I do because that's what we have saved over the years and it helps my family save money for the garden in the long run.

There are so many decisions to make revolving around walking and standing in our truth, it can be just as exhausting as figuring out what the heck our truth is to begin with. So what do we do?  We have two options. 1. We can stress ourselves out and be sick to our stomachs when we can't make or don't make the decisions we'd like to make 24/7 and feel guilty about it everyday all day. Or 2. We accept that maybe we just can't do everything "right" all of the time.  But, we can do our best. We can let ourselves change our minds, we can do what we can, when we can, and we can take the the guilt and the "shoulds" we often put on ourselves and we lock them up and throw away the key. We can simply find our own ever-evolving truth and then follow it the best we can with love and intention each and everyday. I choose option 2. I hope you will too.<3

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