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| My lovely friend Foxglove. <3 |
So, what has shed light on my recent "full blown control-freakiness"? Well, it's really been mostly the usual, being an ever-evolving entrepreneur coming to the end of a season, easing in to another hoping for new ideas, inspirations and offerings, being newly engaged dealing with wedding planning which seems like it should be fun (everyone keeps telling me this "You should be having fun!!") no pressure though right??! while I really haven't had a day go by where I haven't sent/received an email made a phone call or have had someone ask or tell me what they think about something about the planning since the day I got engaged on July 3rd, on top of moving from Dover to Newmarket from a house we didn't have permission to do much to ie: paint, refinish etc, to a huge duplex where we can do anything we want to (yay!) but feels like dirty hippies ( hey no disrespect I love hippies...) lived there for the past 10 years and did absolutely nothing to keep the walls, windows and cabinets from crumbling in on them, so that even if we didn't want to get creative with the place- it quite frankly isn't an option to leave it as is, so I'm preparing to live out of boxes for awhile longer as even the closet space needs spackling and painting to make them even remotely usable.
----Okay, okay, I know!
All of these things are very exciting, happy, joyous things! I know, I know this! And believe me I am trying my darnedest to stay in this mind set for as long as possible. But see... then the other Amanda creeps in and starts FREAKING OUT! "Should I redo my website again? Run old classes? New classes? More clinics less clinics? Same programs? New Programs? Online classes? In person classes?" and then "I want to paint NOW get spackling!!! I need to clean the floors! Sweep the deck! Get this shit out of boxes! I can't find my damn hair comb!! Where is the remote??!! Bahhh!! My feet are black from the filth- where are my flip flops??? Aaron where's the paint!! Let's get cracking NOW PLEASE! Love you honey.....:):)" and finally "I don't want to hear about wedding etiquette! If my friends and family are going to be offended by anything I do or don't do according to tradition and seriously take offense then they don't know me AT ALL and if I have to fill out one more form about my name, my new name, my email, my mom's email, my mother in law to be's email, my husband to be's email, name, how many groomsman he's having how many bridesmaids I'm having and all of their emails, where the wedding is, what the "feel" of the wedding will be just to try on a wedding dress or have my friends try on dresses I'm gonna lose it!! (oh, I did finally find my dress though! Yippee!) or talk to a caterer who tells me we need "servers" for a BBQ style buffet (what don't you understand about a BBQ buffet??!! Paper plates, serving spoons, food- done!) So much for trying to keep a wedding simple!"
Again, this is all silly, silly, toxic, ego centered chatter. I know this I do. And this is why I'm sharing this with you all. Because we all have our crazy moments and I want to let you know that I'm right there with you and recently I think I've been having crazier moments than most. And this new awareness of the crazy control freak lady that has been living inside me but has waited until now when a few more things have been thrown at me has really decided to make herself known. So what to do, what to do.
Before I share with you what I've been doing to curb my insanity, I wanted to also share with you how it has been affecting me physically. Because as you know, there is no disconnect between the physical, mental and emotional bodies. What happens to one, affects the others- no joke.
When I first starting learning about alternative medicine and herbs, in classes when the importance of digestion was brought up, we didn't just talk about the physical mouth to anus transit of food and excretion of physical waste but also the digestion of our life experiences. We looked at how we process things that happen to us on a day to day basis. Can we take experiences in, access what is useful and helpful to us, absorb them and then let go of the rest? Or do we hold on to everything the good and the bad? Perhaps we feel we don't know how to process our experiences at all and feel helpless letting go of all of it? Well this can often be reflected in how our day to day digestion shows itself. Those of us who tend to hold on to things, or perhaps try to control things a bit too much tend towards constipation. Those of us who feel at a loss and perhaps that we have no control with some of life's experiences have the opposite physical digestion and tend to veer toward loose stools and quick bowel movements and diarrhea. And then there are those who go back and forth between control and lack there of and experience imbalances like IBS. There are lots of symptoms of imbalanced digestion and the mental emotional states related to them, but you get the general gist.
So, can you guess which "control freak Amanda" was experiencing in her gut?? Let's just say, I was trying to control IT ALL. I could not relax and surrender at all. I was holding it all in. Guess when this all started? On my first wedding dress excursion when I visited 7 bridal shops in 3 days straight and probably tried on 25-30 gowns with no luck feeling so completely unlike myself with all of the wedding hoopla. Don't get me wrong! I am beyond thrilled to be getting married but I was never the little girl who dreamed of her wedding day & the Cinderella dress she'd wear. So it all felt overwhelming & foreign. I attempted to "control it" as best I could and of course with no success. Oh, and did I tell you that I have an enormous disdain for anyone who tells me what to do? Ha. Well, yes I do. I have a problem with that. Not very conducive to wedding planning. Lol. See! Full of faults! Here I am!!:)
So anyway, the constipation & bloat lasted almost a full week till my digestion was back on track.....until a few weeks later when.....I had ANOTHER bridal gown appointment! LOL! On top of this appointment, my dear sis was in town visiting and staying at our apartment that was in shambles from packing getting ready to move. The symptoms continued...lessoned when I realized I found my wedding dress, increased when we began moving our things from point A to point B and now - litterally just now have calmed down after night 3 of being in our new place in Newmarket. Coincidence? I think not.
So, I'm certainly not settled in Newmarket yet, but it's getting there...I've found my wedding dress and am truly ahead of schedule as far as planning goes, and I'm writting a new blog post for all of you LTW fans... so the crazy lady is taking a breather...And a breather is truly what all craziness needs. There's nothing new about the power of breath, It does wonders. Here are some other helpful tips that have at least kept me off the complete and total "crazy train" this past month. You may find them helpful too...
1. BREATHE. Especially when you notice the "crazy" has come out. Just go sit in the bathroom and breath. Or, if you really want to kick and punch something like I sometimes want to do, a kickboxing DVD is awesome for this:)
2. AFFIRMATION AND MANTRA: "Controlling" our thoughts and our crazy train brain is half the battle. I find that creating an affirmation ie: " The only constant in life is change." " Go with the flow", " I surrender to the flow of all life and know that all is well", " All I really know is that I know nothing" are super helpful. These are just one's that come to mind that will calm my "crazy train brain" but you can make up your own. You just want to make sure it's something that calms you when you say it to yourself. \
The Sanskrit sounds of "OM" (it empowers all & dispels negativity and helps us to be open to positivity) , "SHAM" (instills peace and calm to our minds) or "RAM" ( dispels negative energy, is protective and calms anxiety & fear) are also very calming for me. They don't have to be said out loud to be affective you can simply say them to yourself.
3. ESSENCES: Flower essences are one of the most amazing remedies I've had the pleasure to work with. They are similar to homeopathics as they are "vibrational" in nature. They have an affinity to the emotions. So by taking essences either right on the tongue or in water in your time of need- you can often be calmed in an instant! There are many, many varieties of essences. Bach is the most mainstream brand even found at the Hannaford now. The one's I'm taking right now are Foxglove and Lobelia. Foxglove is for me to remember to play and have fun with life and Lobelia is so I will put away "the whip" from myself and others:) Essences are wonderful and versatile- check them out.
4. WHOLE HERBS: Since I was having bloated belly issues I worked with Yellow Dock Root & Licorice Root extract taken daily in water to aid as a gentle laxative as well as peristalsis strengthener in my gut:) Generally speaking using herbs like Dandelion root, Burdock root, and Yellow Dock are very supportive for elimination and liver support. If you veer towards diarrhea however you can skip the Yellow Dock and add Raspberry leaf instead.;) Getting on a good probiotic (yogurt doesn't count) is also very helpful for happy digestion.
5. AROMATHERAPY: Don't ever underestimate the power of smell. Pick your favorite essential oil that calms your mind...Mandarin? Lavender? Rose? Cedarwood? It doesn't matter what anyone or any book may say about the eo's that are specific for "calming" the mind. Go with what calms YOU. Then get a little vial add some sea salt and a few drops of your essential oil, cap it and keep in your pocket. Sniff as needed when you need to chill.
So there you have it. My confession as an imperfect crazy train rider who is still growing, and evolving as best she can, along with some of her favorite "helpers" of bringing her crazy train to a halt...for the time being anyway:) It's a process. Thank goodness I'm starting my yoga teacher training next week. I need the extra meditation time!
Thanks for tuning in:) xoxo
P.S Everything I share on these posts are for educational purposes only:) If you have questions or concerns about how to use herbs properly please ask your doctor or contact me anytime:)
XO AMANDA
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