Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I Made It! Well, Almost...



And this is why I write this blog. Because I'm not perfect. Because I also struggle. Because I want to share my authentic, real, raw experiences with you- without pretending that I am able to walk my talk 24 hours/7 days a week and without any sugar coating.
Health is an ever evolving path for all of us. There isn't one answer for any one person, and each person's experience will be very unique to anothers. I'm just letting you in on mine.
So, what am I trying to get at?? I'm done panchakarma. No, it's not day 9 yet. Day 9 went out the window when I started to include peas to my kitchari on day 6- lol. And well, last night as I was sitting with my mom watching Revenge (love that cheese!) I realized that I was done- not with the whole cleanse, but definitely with the kitchari. The thought of having to eat kitachari for 3 more meals turned my stomach & interest in eating completely off- and just down right depressed me. So, I made an agreement with myself that I would finish the basti, external oleation, yoga & meditation and let my self eat the healthy breakfast of my choice this morning. And so I did. And man, was eating breakfast a magnificent expeience. Fire crackers in my mouth I tell you! My senses rejoiced. Ahhhhhh.
So, there you have it. I made it to day 8 ish. And although I felt guilty about it at first, especially about disappointing my students and peers and you, I realized that I needed to tune into my own body's wisdom and let it make the call. I always preach, and believe deeply that the state of our spirit and our mind reflect and influence our physical health deeply. So, last night when I thought about even having to look at another bowl of kitchari again and it made me want to forego eating all together and  also made my spirit litterlly sink- I thought- wait a minute. Cleanses are not about tortouring one's self and trying to force yourself to do things you don't want to do anymore. I can be very black and white about things sometimes- can you tell?! So, I just let it go.
Day 1-7 were great! My mind was calm, I was mostly enjoying the kitchari, felt nourished and supported and felt confident that I could finish the last day. And then the end of day 7 came and my mind changed it's mind. And that's okay. I also would like to interject that the last two days were spent at my parents house (where I do my gardening & wildcrafting) otherwise known as " Land of Delicious Food Teasing You From Around Every Corner". I know, not an excuse, but certainly didn't help me out:)
I mentioned being over kitchari on facebook last night and one of my students commented "You are not encouraging me to attempt this cleanse at all!" I hope that's not really true. Although, I can't say I blame her. I am just being completely honest about the struggles I personally face when I do this cleanse: ghee then kitchari. Some of my peers LOVE the kitchari and eat it on a regular basis- ON PURPOSE!! And others say they love drinking the ghee and that it feels so soothing and nourishing to them. When my sister did the cleanse she struggled with drinking the triphala tea, where that really doesn't bother me at all. We are ALL SO DIFFERENT. So please, don't let my experience discourage you from attempting a cleanse of your own. I just want to be real with you. And honestly, I can be dramatic at times- I'm not gonna lie about that:) So, maybe I'm just a baby! See for yourself! If' your intrigued- try it! This cleanse could be a piece of cake with you! Give it a whirl! What is there to lose? You can stop anytime- you're the boss:)
The bottom line is that I CHOOSE to continue to practice this cleanse just about yearly.  And that says something more than anything else. And it's because I know it's benefits and I  know how great I feel when I'm done- even if I skip a few days- why else would I do it? And I have to say Ayruveda hasn't been around for 1000's of years for nothing!:)
Speaking of benefits I wanted to share something else with you that surprised me. This particular panchakarma felt  really good, but didn't blow me away as others in the past.  I felt clear headed, had steady energy, the cracking joints I sometimes experience lessened greatly, the floaters in my eyes lightened and my skin got clearer ( although I noticed that my rosy cheeks showed up again when I added salt into my kitchari for more flavor- interesting), but I must say that in comparison to the panchakarma's in the past it was the least remarkable. BUT I'm gonna take that as a good sign that my body didn't need as much cleansing this time as I thought- yippee!
I forget that the reason I found Ayruveda was because I was sick- pretty seriously sick. And when I was introduced to panchakarma I was "all in" to do whatever I needed to do to get better- I was in a time crunch and on a mission.  I think having that mind set and not knowing what to expect had me set up a lot differently. Where I am now, having been practicing health & wellness  seriously in my own personal life since 2005 I am in a much more solid and healthy place. When I was having my health crisis I really didn't think about my food choices up until then and certainly not healing herbs like I do now. So when I first experienced panchakarma it was pretty miraculous. And all of the changes I saw and experienced were pronounced and obvious. I am certain that it played an enormous role in what helped me to heal.  This time around and the other panchakarma's since have been for maintenance and prevention- which is as good a reason as any but- perhaps with less obvious results??
Looking back, knowing all I know now about tongue analysis and facial analysis I wish I had taken before and after pictures BACK THEN because, I honestly don't see any differences in the Day1 picture I posted in the first blog and today's- infact I think I look more tired around the eyes in this one! LOL! Here I was hoping to blow you away with super obvious changes and I was especially hoping to share significant differences to my Ayruveda students this Thursday at class, but alas, not much to show.
But even without outward physical evidence, I FEEL and I KNOW that my mind, body and spirit is happier, functioning more smoothly and truly like I've gotten a "tune up".
Now I'm really ready for spring!  Thanks for being my witnesses and tuning in! Now it's your turn! (nudge, nudge :)) xxoo

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